An Eye (Or a Flower Archway)


I begun with this thought of an eye. Because you know, it's what most makes sense. Then I just switched.

It's been hard to keep this alive. This fake link. It is not fake for its existence, but it is fake for its appearance. For I would not permit others to see what I truly feel within my heart. And you may not know it consciously - or maybe you know it and you try to deny it or pretend you just don't care - but I am certain I have given all the signs, even though I tried not to.

I feel something for you. I haven't come to that conclusion so easily. It was really confusing in the beginning. I spent endless hours trying to decipher what I had found inside this mind of mine. The cues mounted and I misunderstood all the lights, all the gestures. I misread your face. And thus, when it came to light, it also came to a falling. I mistook my acts towards you, and although today might be a little earlier to express my feelings - walking on such an unsteady surface, paved with possibly only doubtful suspicions - I won't be apologetic, as I never had. For this is what I do: I live it intensely and then I end it roughly. And when push comes to shove, I'll watch you rove away from me.

At this very moment I am here, without you, and I will be the same until I finally overcome it, as I have already done a thousand times. But what bothers me is that once again I will not live the amour, it will simply vanish as though it has never existed.

I could speak of an eye. But you know what? You seem much more like an archway. Made with fine white-painted wood, adorned with a beautiful chain of roses.  An arch under which many incredible people will stride one day. And you'll see them passing. I just hope you seal yourself for someone.