Now it's for you.

I wanted you to know I hear you. Here I hear you all the time... I hear you saying on random stuff, reacting to everything in front of me. I wanted you to see how sad it is to be so far from you. How painful it is when I try to reach you and you block me off and I feel a twinge in my stomach. It's like a knife piercing me. I know you don't do it on purpose, because I know you, you put our friendship to the highest levels of tension, but it's ok, cause you're my boy, you're always be my boy and I'm used to it and even grateful to God I have you by my side, just the way you are. But I'm also proud, and my pride has jeopardised me so many times that I've lost count. This pride makes me want to to stop trying, stop running... And wait for you to come. But this time I am simply not able to do this, for it's not the same. I'm not in Brazil. The pictures I post don't match reality. I'm not happy, I'm not having wonderful experiences and I'm not making a lot of new friends. I'm lonely, tasting some solitude I've never had before. I'm finding out true friends stay behind. And one of them is somehow punishing me for I've abandoned him. So I wanted to say this: I haven't, Sam. I'm here, I hear you but I can't see you. As it's written in your book, the eyes are blind, we must see with our hearts. I'd like to see you, and that's all.